What did you do today?

This week I learned three things:
1. Drinking a bottle of wine by yourself in 40 minutes is a bad idea.
2. Wearing the same sweater to the same math class all week is also a bad idea.
3. If you want to understand yourself and your relationships you need someone else to elucidate them.

I feel that point number one is obvious. As most people know, excessive alcohol consumption is detrimental to your health and the living proof is the likely scars I'll have on my hands (don't worry Mum was entirely taken care of and safe).

Point number two is poignant in the science community. As a science student and, more importantly, a physics student the way you dress is a keen reflection upon your level of nerdiness. I am now fully assured that the people in my Monday, Wednesday and Friday classes appreciate and realize my nerd-dom. Hopefully, this will make earning their respect far easier. The only downside; I had one arts course on all of these days. I can no longer pretend to be fashionable and "artsy" in this class. I feel the trade-off is fair.

Point 3 is really the body of my thought. I've been dealing with a paradigm shift in my life. I've rediscovered my (terrible) conservative nature. I've tried to put myself first. And I've been relishing in my physics studies. These are three main things that I have let slide in the past four months and, with the new year, I am trying to regain them.

This happens as a paradigm shift because it is radically revamping the way I look at the world. And it is thanks to a close friend that I am finally seeing why I misplaced these values and how I had improperly weighted various aspects of my life. I put more emphasis on familiarity and comfort than on challenging myself. In a sense, I became complacent with normalcy and, unfortunately, everything that is average.

But that changed this week. Not because of an intervention in my life. But because of a seemingly harmless conversation that radically overlapped with things I had been mulling over. And it was the casual way in which these issues were addressed and mulled over by someone else that finally got through to me.

So this week, thank your friends and actually listen to them. You don't need to unravel their lives because more often than not they will actually unravel yours.

Nine

My last day in Calgary (for I have no idea how long) and I went and saw Nine. Typically - and I did this last year - my last day in Calgary is spent with friends; drinking, laughing and looking forward to my next visit home.

Instead, I escaped into Rome in, what I'm guessing was, the 1950's. I went into the movie with a firm grasp on the story. It was a musical. That's all I thought I needed to know. But, alas, as with any musical there is a story the precludes the singing. A collective sigh issues from all musical lovers at the *shudder* story.

Taking deep breaths and trying to piece together the Italian accent of Daniel Day-Lewis I allowed myself to be swept into Italy and the extremely sexy world of Guido Contini. And I truly was swept away. The story follows an aging director (the aforementioned Guido Contini) as he struggles to produce his ninth film. The plot isn't exactly thrilling but the charismatic characters and occasional song and dance breathe life into the film.

The most important aspect of the film, for me, was the midlife crisis Guido experiences. It is an identity crisis of sorts. I don't want to give the movie away so I'll leapfrog into the wider world.

A constant question in life is why? In this case, why act? Why do the things that you are passionate about? What supplies coal to the fires that burn through you when you do something that makes you happy?

I don't know anymore. I can muse upon the "quantum mechanics" of choice. The probabilities of behaviour and the subsequent observations. But I can't get to a deeper why. Why? Why? Why?

This question has been plaguing me for weeks now and I can't get it out of my head. I read a really excellent quote that provides a suitable answer:
"If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life; it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth."

My "why" has always been people but I'm having a hard time accepting their changes. The ones I can't control.

So I pose the question; What is your why?