All you need...

is love. Umm, no.

All you need is a desperate urge to pee and adrenaline. Please and thank you. I humbly await my Nobel Prize for this proclamation. But perhaps first I should explain a bit of where I'm coming from.

Tonight was the first night I sang my solo with the orchestra for the musical. And goddammit I had to pee the whole time. Lucky for me I think this actually made me sing better.

Back in the days of high school when music and performance ruled my life I was an incredibly nervous and shy person. While today I am merely a nervous and shy person. But the point is, regardless of how prepared I was for a performance I was always nervous and for the first minutes of any performance I was lacking because of those nerves.

And then one day, one fateful February day, I forgot to go pee before Jazz1 went on stage. Besides the excessive foot tapping and squirming I think I played quite well. AND for the first time I didn't think about my nerves during the performance.

Thusly, I have taken it upon myself to never pee before going on stage. And so tonight rolled around. I downed a cup of tea with dinner and then purchased a huge water bottle which I began gulping. By the time my song rolled around I had to pee like no other. And I sang and my foot tapped thirty second notes and I sang well.

So, I think I am going to take this peeing thing and extend it into other parts of my life. For instance, before a midterm. No peeing. That way I'll be so focused on how bad my groin feels to make any stupid mistakes or over think my answers. Before sporting events. No peeing. That way I won't feel the burning in my muscles. I'll just feel the burning in my lower abdomen. And sex. Especially sex. No peeing. That way I won't think about anything but....you get the idea. And tightening those muscles is never a bad thing to keep it up...

So the point of the story. When you have to pee: hold it!! It'll make things way easier for you. And all you'll ever need is love, I mean....a full bladder.